Life, loss, love and everything in between.

Well once again it's been a bit longer than I had hoped it would be til I posted. Life has been crazy. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Also I have the blogger app so that might change things.  Also I'm just diving right in...

On January 3rd 2014 my mother in law, Momma Kathy, left this life for the next after an unarguably long fight with cancer. A cancer that no one would have dreamed she could have lived through 6 years with. With what she thought could be only 6 months of life left she sent her son (now my wonderful and most amazing husband), on his mission to Alaska knowing full well the chances of seeing him return two years later was slim. She decided that this cancer wasn't gonna take the life and love out of her. Instead she rebelled against the cancer in her body. She wasn't going to let that take away who she was. She was chipper and happy til the very end. Never once thinking "woe is me" or ever the thought of giving up. A cancer that is hardly ever heard of much less, we know very little about, was about to deal with it's toughest fight yet. Kathy did the rounds of chemotherapy and even did stem cell to prolong her life. By the time she was through she was her own case study for a trial of a new breast cancer chemo, and imagine this, 

IT WORKED! 

Which only "works" for so long, but that gave us more time with her. She made it into the new year for a tax write off and to ensure that it wasn't near any birthdays and after the holidays. Which I might at were a glorious occasion with her by our side and sharing the light of Christ with us. I think of her often. Sometimes it consumes me. I want to be the spiritual giant she was. I want to have faith and hope like that. I want to be rock solid. That's what momma k was. She was a beacon of light for the rest of Us. She still is. Reminding is that we can do those things that we think are hard. 

This is such a small tidbit on her and her life. But I miss her terribly. Sometimes I don't even know how to explain what she was to me. I love her so much. I miss her everyday and the gaping hole in my life is still just a fresh would. Sometimes I salt it. Sometimes I try and let it heal. And other days I just hope and pray that it will heal. Not today or tomorrow. But someday I won't be plagued by it like I am now. I hope her children know the kind of love she had for them. I hope her children know what an amazing father they have. I hope that as she is up there in heaven that she is teaching my future children to be just as amazing as she is. 

For now that's all. I'm drained as I'm sure one might be after reading such a roller coaster. Until another day